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| back at the contemplative mirror because it's the end of my birthday after i received a bunch of facebook mssgs from old friends that have left me feeling nostalgic, plus i'm listening to some chill music that one of those old friends sent me. I don't feel old (25 is definitely old), which is great, i just have more random memories that I like looking back at and more people that i wish were here with me now. Aren't I lucky? I think most of my previous introspective stops at xanga have been at points in life with great change and uncertainty around the corner, and this is not the case tonight. I guess I'm writing because I miss a bunch of friends who have all gone off living their own lives and I've come crawling back to Xanga to hopefully glimpse what they're up to these days. In lots of cases, instead I'm seeing posts that end at 2005, 2004 and very sadly even 2003. I had a thought that these defunct xanga sites kinda make xanga like a ghost town - some place where everyone used to share stuff but now everyone's moved on, both physically, mentally and temporally. dam am i trying too hard to write this down? I need to look forward more, I often tell myself... But I'm a sentimental person and really like thinking back at the good old times. Does this means that I will inexorably fade into one of those hunched and wrinkled asian geezers who has no idea that it's the year 2045? Gotta live the present more. But to anyone who is seeing this and thinking, gawd, what the hell happened to chris? Help me out by writing a quick blurb on your own xanga to update me and every other silent xanga ghost who looks at your unupdated blog every 3 months or so. You'll help us all satsify our need to know what's going on with people whose smiling faces we used to see every day, thereby helping your friends to move forward and get on with life. Now go back and count how many times i typed "old" and "friends" and, despite the incoherent writing above, you'll know what's on my mind. Woohah, that felt good. Xanga, old friend, you're such a great listener - great for self-gratifying ramblings. | | |
| I know that nobody reads this thing anymore, but I feel like writing. Lots has happened since the last post, even if it was only some months ago. Working changes a person, or maybe just not being at school changes a person. It twists you, yanks you, makes you wonder why you're sitting in a cubicle all day and night, and it shakes you till you feel empty and your voice sounds hollow. And then, when you think life sucks, you arrive at the god-blessed invention that man probably created when he was still sucking termites off sticks. VACATION. It's not that you get to stop sucking termites off that stick for a while (that's very nice by itself); you find faith that life is for something again because you get together with all your friends, buddies, pals, and of course family that also get to stop hunting termites for a while. And if all I did over break was sit around watching t.v. with mimi, nero, lero, dad, vincent, kathy, johnny, andrew, dave, jeff, and tom (everyone else who wasn't there, I missed you) I would be a satisfied termite-hunter. But I got to ski, drink beers in hot tubs while looking at petits and fits, dance like a maniac - with my best friends in the world.
Work changes a person. It makes you beats you in the head until, through blood sweat and tears, you see with piercing clarity what you love most. Everybody who cares, thanks for everything. | | |
| Back from a fun packed night of good eats and better times. After
meticulous planning, Dave and I decided the best thing to do yesterday
was for him to drive down from the city, work out at stanford, drive up
to the city, have dinner with kathy, then drive back down from the city
to go out in mountain view and crash at jeff's place. That's
three hours of driving up and down the peninsula for dave. But
he'd agree it was worth it.
Dinner with Kathy at a Tapas place was outstanding. I've never
been to a tapas bar before, and due to the homonym coincidence and the
fact that everyone calls it a "tapas bar" not a "tapas restaurant", I
always mistake taps for topless. So for a few moments I thought
Kathy was taking us to eat at a nudy bar. Instead I was greeted
by a hairy mexican guitarist and ate delicious chorizo and paella, but
this was just as good. Unfortunately the flavor of garlic shrimp
persists 12 hours and 3 toothscrubbings later. As always it was
damn good to hang with kathy and dave again - for the last time in a
long time - somehow the random happenstance of being put in the same
freshman dorm together FIVE years ago brought us similar individuals
together. The same serendipity goes for most of my stanford
friends. I hope life continues to bring us in contact with great
people.
Today is John's wedding. I feel a little giddy, as it's only my
second wedding, a little curious, as the first one was very
nontraditional, and mostly happy to be able to kick it with my friends
one last time before new york. Wish johnny were here. I'm
approaching tonight's festivities as a joyful celebration slash
reunion. In other words, it's paaaarrrty ttiiiiiiime. Enjoy
yourselves bitches, it's a celebration!!! One wise word of advice
from Jeff, "Don't be the drunkest there, and don't be the
stupidest." Sound advice ;)
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| everybody says it after not writing for any extended period of time,
but like with an awkward conversation, maybe it's better to start with
a hackneyed statement about the obvious:
"It's been a long time since I've been here..."
For whatever reasons I don't understand either, I'm clacking away on
this site again. I hope I'm not turnin old man neurotic and just
looking for anyone or anything to listen, but just to help this 23 year
old out, leave a comment to let me know if anyone reads this, or if I'm
typing purely for my own benefit. Seriously, hit me wid da eprops!
Quick rundown of what's going on. It's one day before my
drawmate and stanford friend john ceislewic (i still can't spell his
last name, but his fiance probably can't either) get's married, i'm
bumming out at jeff fisher's house, and am about to go to the
stanford's arrillaga gym despite saying goodbye to the campus for what
I thought would be a long time after graduating 2 weeks ago. Was
that a run-on? I'll have to break that habit before my
GMAT. I can and i can't believe everyone is getting married
around me! Mostly it's people from bakersfield that I only hear
about 3rd hand, but still, some of these people I went to elementary
school with! I could never see myself married, but with some
people, like john and alisa, marriage is natural. I guess it's a
wonderful thing that they truly are meant to be.
WEeeeell, i thought i'd write more, but I shouldn't keep dave waiting at the gym.
Until I return for more rambling,
Lau
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| Every Thanksgiving I'm struck by how little home changes. My
little brother growing up - and now applying for colleges - is the most
significant development during my years away. My hometown Bfizzle
dont change, my friends at home dont change that much (or maybe they
do, I just don't see it), and the computer I'm typing on hasn't changed
for nearly a decade now. Out of all the things I've seen while
home for the holidays, I'd say the face in the mirror has changed (for
better or for worse) most. Maybe that's me being ego-centric, but
I think it's because of the tear between living now and thinking
future. Sure I have delayed the inevitable train wreck with the
real world (via grad school), but the precipice looms only months
away. If I could make my mind as myopic as my eyes, I'd do it in
a flash. Live for 7 more months without a fucking care in the
world.
Here's a shout out to all my peeps. Choppin it in NYC, SF, and
HK. To ya'll who ain't in those cities, you must have slipped my
mind. But don't worry, I love you too.
Best holiday wishes to all. Gobble gizzle my nizzles.
Lau
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